Haunting memories
by IllSpreadMyWingsAndFly
Summary: "Love yourself because when you do gabriella, thats when you radiate the most beauty" When gabriella comes out of therapy she turns to the most unexpected person. will she continue on the road to recovory or will this love be a step backwards in her life?
1. Skyscraper

_Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me._

_You can take everything I have_

_You can break everything I am_

_Like im made of glass_

_Like im made of paper._

_Go on and try to tear me down_

_I will be rising from the ground, like a sky scraper._

_skyscraper-Demi Lovato_

**i do not own high school musical, i do however own the plot and hopefully you enjoy it.**

Meeting Gabriella

Waiting, waiting is all could do. It's all I had been doing for the last year of my life. Waiting for something good to happen. Waiting for ANYTHING to happen and now I was sat waiting on a plane. Waiting so I could finally go home and face up to the reality I had to leave behind. I hadn't seen anyone from Albuquerque in a year, I hadn't seen my friends, I hadn't seen my family hell I hadn't even seen my dog. That's what you get when you go to therapy, you have to block out your life and make yourself your only priority. You have to prioritize the most important things to you, and in my case it was my health. I had to try and manage my diet, gain the weight I had rapidly lost and try to pick myself up from my breakdown. It took longer than expected, I was meant to be there for 6 months but I was there for 12. I met the nicest people, and I even began to think I belonged there, like that was my home now, but like whatever I do in life it all come down, my happiness disappeared and my smile faded and I was forced to go back into the reality of my real life. I should be happy shouldn't I? That I get to go home, that im classed well enough to live in the society that slowly dragged me down the path to therapy? Its not that I don't want to. Im just scared. Scared of the events which will happen when I arrive, scared of things I have to face. In therapy I was in a bubble protected from harm, I was warm and I was safe. I still have the nightmares from the day kelsi died. The burning tower, her cold screams echoing. The guilt that it should have been me and not her? I don't see HOW I can do it. How I can go back there, how I can face up to all of my previous friends who probably blame me? That's not even half the story, how could I ever face up to troy? After all he is the one that found me. Your probably wondering how I ever got to therapy? It was never my choice ever. Troy Bolton, found me on the floor of my bathroom, blood leaking out my arm, they told me it was a "cry for help", but it wasn't it was the feeling of pure pleasure i got out of cutting myself that made me do it. Like all the guilt, all the sadness, the isolation just ran away like water in a river, peacefully, gentle, it was so easy. Death seemed so easy.

If im honest im not the same Gabriella. When I was 15, I had long brown hair with blonde highlights and a blunt full fringe, it was bright and it was different and it was "me". I cut it last year to just above my shoulders, died it a deep raven black and let my fringe grow out. I looked older and I defiantly felt it. Its grown now, almost the same length as it was before. But instead of straightening it I tend to keep it in its natural curls. Ive grown a few inches, gone up a few bra sizes, and I have some curves. I can happily say Im getting better, im not there yet. I still have this tight grip around me which pulls me into isolation at times. Like im alone, like I have no one. Im stronger now, im not little gabi anymore. Im not weak and promise myself I will never go down this road again. What would be the point? im actually living life now, im happy at times, I want to be alive. I don't feel the need to starve myself or cut myself to feel happy. I just feel content, with myself, with my life and I thought with my home. But the closer I get to it, the more I want to run away. Don't get me wrong I am so happy I can feel the warmth of my bedroom and to see the familiar sparkle in the eyes of my mum. Im ready to be woken up every morning by my dog licking me. But im not ready to see east high, to hear the whispers, the gossip and the rumors. Im not ready to see the old church which burnt down with kelsi and im not ready to see my "best friends".

Troy wrote to me when I was in therapy. I found it strange because me and troy never really got along, in fact apart from the fact I was tutoring him we never really spoke at all. Troy is the king of east high. Basket ball captain… gets all the the girls. Many would think he's a jerk, a party animal and a bad boy but from what ive seen hes not. Hes a sensitive, caring but secretive guy. He doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs and hes dedicated to his basketball. As much as I don't want to face him, Im curious about him. Im curious of his intrest in ME! Don't get me wrong im not a geek, im actually quite popular, but were from different backgrounds, we have different intrests. It crossed my mind that he only wrote to me because he pitied me? I don't know why im so bothered? Surely I don't like him, sure he is gorgeous, bright blue eyes, tanned skin, messy dirty blonde hair but.. no I cant be. I guess I should get some sleep before I have to get off the plane and face the damage ive done.

**Well i hope you enjoyed gabriellas story. im going to next introduce troy and his thoughts and feelings. maybe they have more in common than Gabriella thinks...**

**R&R**

**thank you:)**


	2. Queen of Hearts

_Queen of hearts_

_There comes a time in every man's life  
>When he's gonna have to make a choice<br>Should he keep up with the player's life  
>Or listen to that inner voice<br>Sayin if you got a good one  
>You'd be a fool if you let it go<br>I admit the other days were fun  
>But I think it's time for me to grow<br>There ain't no one in this entire world  
>I'd rather be with than you girl<em>

Queen of hearts-Jason Derulo

**i dont own hsm but i do own the plot so i hope you enjoy it.**

Meeting troy

Today, today is the day. The day Gabriella returns. The day emotions will run wild, there will be shock, and tears. Happiness and pity. Memories will come back to haunt us of that night, that awful awful night where we unfortunately lost kelsi. Memories will come to haunt me of the night I saw Gabriella, lieing there on her bathroom floor. Her face was so calm and peaceful, she had the slightest smile on her face as stupid as it seems I thought she had fallen asleep, until I looked at her arm, through her white shirt was red. All I saw was blood. That's when I panicked, i done everything I could to try and stop the bleeding but I couldn't. and she almost died in the ambulance because of me. I could of just rang the ambulance but no. I had to try and be the big hero! I cant exactly say we was close Gabriella and I but I understood her, I saw in her eyes the unhappiness and it was clear that she was struggling with eating issues. Not many people can see the signs but after jenny died of anorexia I became an expert. I wrote to Gabriella whilst she was in therapy, I don't know why I guess I didn't want her to be alone, I guess you could say I pitied her at first, having to go through such an awful disease. But the pity didn't last long because the more I spoke to her the more I realized that I actually liked this girl.

I know its weird but I cant stop thinking about her. Shes in my dreams, shes in my thoughts hell shes even all around the school. Everywhere I go Gabriella Montez Is mentioned and that's why im waiting for her at the airport. Im going to tell her that im here for her whenever she needs me then lead her to the surprise party everyone has planned. I want her to feel loved and special. I don't want her to be like jenny. Jenny went through it all on her own, struggled with her issues and tried to deal with it in her own way. This slowly led to anorexia and by the time it was caught it was too late. She wanted to die, which is the saddest thing of all. My own sister wanted to die, was I not good enough? Our mum and dad are never home always at work or on the road. So we was left alone a lot, I looked after her, she was the most precious thing in the world to me. I feel like ive failed her, like I wasn't good enough and I want to be good enough for Gabriella. Its going to be hard, she is still on the road to recovery but I want to be there to wipe away her tears and to help her up when she falls down. I want to encourage her to make big steps in life and to tell her when shes going backwards. I cant work out if it's a brotherly thing or a romance either way I want Gabriella in my life.

When I was younger as in a year or two ago, before Jennys death and before I moved to east high I guess you could say I was a player. I went out most nights, and I drank and on the odd occasion I done drugs. I had nothing to motivate me and my grades were low. Then I met someone her name was Rachel. I can honestly say I loved her. However she didn't love me. She claimed to but when you love someone you want the best for them, you don't introduce them to drugs you don't break their hearts you don't cheat on them. She used me, she wanted to get pregnant and I was so blindly in loved with her I didn't see the real reason she was interested in me. She was 3 years older, blonde, tanned (which was clearly fake) and she had the most piercing green eyes id ever met. When she told me she was pregnant I didn't know what to do I didn't know what to feel and I definitely didn't know what to think. Yet all this doesn't compare to the feeling I had when she left me, she told me she was going away until I received a letter explaining that I would never see her again and I was never to look for her or my baby. It sent me off the rails and I done many things that I regret and I wish oh god help me I wish I could take them back but I cant. So now I don't exact trust many people so that's why it's a shock to me that im so drawn to Gabriella. We have nothing in common but we feel the exact same. We both feel guilty and we both need someone to love one another. We feel alone and isolated. We feel like we are not good enough for the world. It was amazing being apart of Gabriellas recovery she is so convinced that everyone hates her and everyone blames her for kelsis death. But no one does, everyone wants gabi home and safe. How can you blame her for something she had no idea was going to happen? Gabi is one of them people who confuse you. To me she is perfect she is so beautiful and she has the most amazing personality ever. but to her shes the complete opposite. That's why I hate this disease this stupid anorexia it grows in people and it grows and grows till it brings down that person and everyone around them. It doesn't stop there with many people it suffocates them, it makes them feel worthless, like they don't belong. I don't see how anyone so stunning can look in the mirror and see themselves as ugly.

I remember first meeting Gabriella, I wasn't interested in her but there was no way I could deny her beauty. The way she smiled and her nose crinkled and her eyes sparkled. The way her long golden legs shine in the summer and the way she has just the right amount of curves. The way she was different, she radiated beauty just by smiling. Her smile was infectious and everyone loved her. But I also remember when I first noticed the signs. She no longer had a sparkle in her eye, her hair didn't shine, she wore big baggy clothes and her smile was just a little too much. She was dull. The look in her eyes was painful you saw that she felt alone and she didn't feel content. I use to see her all the time laughing with friends being cheerful, being happy. But then just like the click of a button she began to spend all her time in the library, and she never laughed. That's why I got her to tutor me, I guess you could call it spying but I guess I just didn't want to see the same thing happen to her which happened to jenny. When I saw her lieing on the floor, happy and peaceful I could of left her cause that's the first time id seen her with any sort of real smile on her face but I couldn't do it. She has such a bright future and she deserves to live it. If I had left her. Anorexia would of won.

**Right, so this was pretty rushed as i wanted you to meet troy and gabriella together. You may not be able to realise it now but they are a like in many ways, they just havent relised it yet:-). There is more to the Kelsi story aswell as the Jenny and Rachel stuff! and most importantly there will be more on the reasons why Gabriella blames herself.**

**r&r**

**thanks guys3**


	3. Stone hearts and hand grenades

_You were like a crash of thunder_  
><em>Echo through my darkest nights<em>  
><em>You awaken all my senses made me feel alive<em>  
><em>Even if we try to fight it, we know that the sparks will fly<em>  
><em>Cause in the end, we're just two people destine to collide<em>

_Like stone hearts and grenades_  
><em>You and I are not the same<em>  
><em>There is nothing that I will change<em>  
>Stone hearts and hand grenades-Leona Lewis<p>

**i dont not own hsm:( but i do own the plot so hopefully you enjoy it**

Feeling the sparks

My feet were quite steady beneath me. If I carried on walking I would be fine but if I stopped im sure I would fall. I was nervous. What would I do? What would I say? The only person I have had a proper conversation with was troy? Me and my mum were always so close but I couldn't stand her seeing me thing way so I blocked everyone out, I started from the ground upwards. It was like learning to live again. Learning that I didn't need to starve or cut myself to be happy. I started with self belief, then my appearance, friendships, trust. It was like I was a child who needed to be taught the basic rules. Troy was like my diary, I told him everything. I guess you could say I felt connected with him, he made me happy and he made me feel special. I guess it doesn't really seem a lot saying we wrote to eachother, but he wrote to me twice a week for a year. He kept me going throughout the whole of my therapy, yet I still don't want to see him, I don't want him to not like the new me, I want him to be able to keep the image he has of me in his head, because for some reason I don't think it will last when he sees me. I really hate airports, its just more waiting. You have to wait for your bags then wait for your families or whoever is picking you up. In my case, my mom. I checked my phone, no messages from her. Where was she? My first day back and shes late? I should ring her I guess, what if shes lost. I know my mum she screams when the sat nav says "bare right" because she thinks there is a bear to the right hand side. Okay so now im scared! Her phone is off and I have no way to contact anyone and have no one else who can pick me u-

"brie? Is that you"

It was the voice of an angel. No it was just troy but that's beside the point. WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?

Troys POV

I swear airports are the most boring places in the world. I wonder if Gabriella even knows im picking her up? It was a surprise for me too? I assumed her mum would be here but her mum told me she thought it would be nice if I went on my own. Of course I didn't object I was so excited to see her, after a year of putting everything on paper I was ready to see gabi and to talk to her in person. I was ready to let our friendship grow. I wonder if she has changed? When I was writing to her she seemed a lot more mature than before, she seemed to understand herself. Understand life. She realized she doesn't need to be perfect. I just hope she realizes to me she IS perfect. Wow. Who is th- oh my god, is that. It is! Oh wow.

"brie is that you?"

I saw her tense up. Did she not want me here. A frown creeped up on my face but it wasn't there long. Because she turned around, and what I saw was the most gorgeous person I had ever seen in my life. Her hair was practically black, and she was wearing shorts and a plain white cami top with a pink cardigan. It was so simple. So perfect. She half heartidly smiled at me. And then I saw it. I saw her eyes. They sparkled, and this, this was the part that made me smile. There was silence for a few minutes before she dropped her bags and wrapped her arms around my neck. I snaked my arms around her waist and held on tight. I didn't want to let her go, she couldn't go away again. I smelt the strawberrys and cream in her hair. I was hooked on this girl. She was my drug and at the moment it was doing a pretty good job of keeping me happy. I rested my chin above her head and she snuggled into the crook of my neck. This was our first ever hug. I felt like I had known her for years yet Id only been talking to her for a mere 12 head was spinning, I was confused.

"it is so good to see you brie, you look beautiful" I whispered in her ear

Gabriellas POV

I turned around and that's when I saw him. Sure he wasn't that much different from the last time we was together, but he was taller, more muscular and his face was more structured. He had a small amount of stubble framing his face, and his eyes seemed to glow brighter. He had gone from a boy to a man in such a short space of time. The feeling I had for him hit me really hard. He was the only one to help me through therapy. The ONLY one of my friends who actually acted like they cared, and the only one I really trusted and I will forever cherish that in my heart. I-I erm I think I love him. Im not sure whether it is in a friendly way, a brotherly way or a romantic way. But he has been there for me and thanks to him, im actually loving my life. I dropped my bags, and felt like I needed to hug him. To say thank you, to show him I cared about him and most importantly just because I felt safe with him. So I did. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I swear I felt electricity. He smelt so good.. His warm minty breath tickled my ear as he whispered,

"it is so good to see you brie, you look beautiful"

All of my inhibitions ran away. If he could see me right now he would realize that im as red as a tomato. No one had said something so nice to me in so long, It made me believe I was pretty, which was rare for me. I managed to stutter out

"its good to see you too troy, you have no idea"

Troy pulled away from the hug to my dismay, however he grabbed my hand. The smile, a real smile, was plastered over my face. Who was to think little gabi would be walking hand in hand with east highs king. It felt great. Mine and troys conversations was casual, it was so easy to talk to him. We talked about everything from who I met in therapy to what he had been doing whilst I was gone. We talked about why he was here, apparently my mum had been called into work, and thought it would be a good idea for Troy to pick me up so we could talk and catch up. I loved her for that. But trust me she would be getting it in the ear later. Choosing work over me! Pffft. If im honest I don't think I knew anyone who was so dedicated to something besides troy. His basketball was everything to him and he had worked so hard to get where he was. I admired him for that, he inspired me to be better, to want to achieve more in life. I'd never really thought too much about my future, id always been the type of person who lived in the past. But this is a new me. I have to be positive about my life now. So the future was something I thought about on the way home. I have a lot of aspirations that I didn't even know I had. If im honest im quite good at a lot of things. Im a straight A student, I can dance, gymnastics was something I seriously considered as a younger teenager and I could sing. When I look at it closely I actually am going to go somewhere in life. I didn't know where, I didn't wanna look into it too much and obsess over it. But one thing that came up in all of my paths was Troy. I was more or less sure, no I was certain that I wanted Troy in my life. I wanted him to be by my side. The more I thought about it the more I realised I just wanted troy.

We reached my house and something felt different, the curtains were drawn and from what I could tell the lights were off. My mum never drew the curtains when she went out, there wasn't a specific reason she just never did. So as we got my bags out of the car I began to get curious. My imagination ran wild, and I wondered if my mum had planned something. Maybe troy was involved. Maybe just maybe I was going to have a welcome home party. My ideas were dismissed when Troy walked me to my door and surprisingly gave me a hug.

"ill see you later brie, maybe I can email you or ring you? I don't know ill just talk to you soon"

I couldn't deny the fact I was disappointed, not because of the party but because he was leaving me. Anywho I gathered my bags and found my key and let myself in. As I walked down the corridor of my house I popped into the coat room and stuck everything down before I prepared myself to make a quick dash to the kitchen and get a glass of coke before proceeding to my bedroom to get things up to my standard. I opened the door, and it slowly creeked, I smiled to myself remembering how annoying that door could be when you wanted to sneak home. I walked in and suddenly the room lit up. All around me was a blur, it was colourful and I could make out a banner on the wall welcoming me home. I looked around and was astonished to see so many people, all my friends, all my school was here. Even troy. He must of snuck around the back the cheeky thing. My mum was the first person I ran too, I hugged her so tight. I missed her so much, I forgot how much I missed hugging her when things got bad. I just forgot how much I missed everyone. I saw taylor, sharpay and chad make their way up to me. Inturn they all gave me a hug and a present. It felt like my birthday.

" Gabby we have missed you so much!" they all said

"ive missed you too guys, it feels so weird being home!" I replied slowly, still overwhelmed with the amount of people who were squashed into my home.

I looked around anxiously looking for Jason. Jase was Kelsi's long term boyfriend. I Wonder if he had come.

"erm gabby if your looking for Jason he isn't here" taylor whispered to me whilst holding my shoulder.

"oh, erm may I ask why" I asked

"he hasn't been the same Jason this last year, he hasn't come to terms with kelsis death yet, I guess you could say he feels like he needs someone to blame" sharpay said with sadness in her voice.

"and let me guess, he blames me" I said with disappointment laced in my voice

"look gabby its not that, he just loves her so much. He hasn't really hung around with us much. He was getting back to normal, until he heard of your return he erm, I guess he er I guess it just brings back memories" chad said whilst pulling me into a hug

I pushed him away.

"don't touch me, get away from me all of you. Im a monster!" I shouted

I ran away. I ran up my stairs. I ran to my room. I slammed the door. And I cried.

Why did I have to ruin everything. I should of stayed in the loony bin, its were I belong.

I sat on the corner of my bed well aware of the tracks of mascara running down my face. I used the sleeve of my cardigan to wipe my tears. I brang my knees up to my chest and I just sat in the darkness.

It could have been 5 minutes or even 10 when I heard footsteps on my stairs. I just assumed someone was finding the toilet. 5 minutes ago I had heard the music stop and the front door open a few times, I guessed everyone was going home. Yet another thing I ruined. How could I ever even look at myself in the mirror. I was a disgrace. My thoughts vanished as my door opened. I couldnt see as it was almost pitch black, so I just waited for them to identify themselves. They didn't. but I knew exactly who it was when they whispered "brie?". Troy.

"im here" I said croakily

He turned on the light and jogged over to my bed. He sat next to me and pulled me into a hug.

"oh brie" he said as he kissed the top of my head.

"everything will be okay brie, I promise".

He cared about me, he actually cared. And in the spur of the moment I lifted my head and I kissed him.

He pulled away and stepped off of my bed.

Oh god what had I done

**So is Troy toying with Gabriella or does he have a genuine reason why he pulled away after showing all the signs of having feelings for her? i guess you will have to wait and see. Im really sorry to ask but can you please review this story? i wont carry on untill i have a few reviews! and this is something you do not want to miss ;D!**

**R&R**

**thanks guys**

**3**


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